AP – DEARBORN, MI In an unprecedented marketing move yesterday, Ford Motor Company officially recalled its entire existence after the barrage of publicity that Toyota received for their recent recalls of certain models due to faulty floor-mats and pedals. Ford owners and non-owners were baffled by the news.
“So what does this mean exactly?” asked Jim Starkweather – an FC-150 owner.
“Well, I don’t know what’s going on but I’m damn proud to be a Chevy driver!” exclaimed Mary McDonald who actually owns a Honda Civic.
Scott Elinich, spokesperson for Ford Motor Company, stated that the move was “the next step in an on-going struggle for the biggest piece of the publicity pie” between the major Auto-makers.
“It just makes the most sense publicity wise,” said Elinich, “Toyota recalls some of their models and it turns into a public relations wet dream, so we recall the whole kit and caboodle!”
Ford apologizes
The new ad-campaign will kick off with a poster of Ford founder Henry Ford in an iconic head-shot with the caption “OOPS!” underneath. The company is aiming for forgiveness from some 1.3 million satisfied customers. Elinich, who graduated from St. Luke the Evangelist grade-school in Pennsylvania, said that the idea came to him in a dream about a month ago.
“Sam Kinison and I were playing golf and he hit the ball into the World Trade Center and the whole thing came tumbling down. He just turned around and said ‘OOPS!’”
“It was a real eye-opener,” Elinich stated.
Ford owners remained dumbfounded this morning.
“Does this mean I’ll be getting some amount of money back?” asked Frank DiPasquale who owns a Focus.
“Anyone who owns a perfectly functioning failure will get a ‘FORD!’ T-Shirt and a twenty-five dollar gift certificate to Applebee’s Restaurants,” Elinich announced.
“It’s our way of saying ‘We’re Sorry’” Elinich added.
Hours after Ford initiated their campaign GM announced that it was building an upside-down corporate headquarters whose foundation would take root in the atmosphere and would rain down Tootsie-Rolls whenever their stock fell.
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